If you are in a situation where parents interfere in your married life, it becomes difficult for you to have a happy marriage. Sometimes parents simply forget that their kids have grown up as matured beings, so casting their unnecessary guardianship on them is detrimental. Therefore, they do not mind poking their noses in the life of their married kids too. But if you object your parents directly, it can make them disheartened. Simultaneously, if you do not do something serious about it your marriage can be at risk! So, what is the solution then? Well, we have some tips that will help you to overcome the situation and save your marriage.
Avoid getting brainwashed
Some parents are extremely brainwashing. In order to ‘help’ you out, they fan the flames between you and your spouse! This can be killing for your marriage. So, before you plunge on your spouse, analyze the truthfulness of such claims. It might be so that your spouse has never done anything for which he or she is getting blamed. If you lose your own power of self analysis and blindly believe whatever your parents say, nobody can save your marriage from getting shattered in due course of time.
Never overrule your spouse’s remarks
There are times when you get to know that our marriage is on the verge of getting shattered and your parents are the major catalysts, it is already too late. Therefore, it is not always proper to overrule what your spouse has to say about your parents. Paying heed to such remarks once in a while often works a lot in saving your marriage.
Make your own rules
Each family has a separate set of customs. This difference is more prevalent in case of intercultural marriages. Your spouse will have his or her own set of cultures and protocols and your parents will have their own. All these will never match with each other. Now, this will become an issue for your parents and cast a dark spell on your married life. You can solve it. Make your spouse acquainted with your own culture and your parents acquainted with that of your spouse’s before you tie the wedlock. After marriage, prepare a list of cultural activities that are mandatory for you and your spouse to follow. Include some of yours as well as his or her’s. Now, abide by that and do not pay attention to what your parents have to say additionally.
Make parents understand they aren’t the best decision makers for you
You need to break this wrong conviction of your parents that they are not always the best decision maker for you. Show them where they are wrong and which are the places where their unnecessary interference can spoil your married life. Although initially they will never understand, gradually with time they will come to a conclusion that you have passed the age of too much of parental dominance and rigidity.
Make your spouse aware of some thumb rules
The best way to avoid any issues arising from the parental end post marriage is to kill the root beforehand. Let us explain this clearly. Talk with your spouse and inform him or her about some of the most crucial thumb rules that are followed in your family. For instance, talk about the food that is mostly cooked, the festivals mostly celebrated, etc. Sit and jot down a list together and help your spouse in grasping these new things, so that your parents are surprised at how efficient your spouse is.
Never confide on your parents
Some people bring problems in their married life on their own. What they do is that they seek the assistance of their parents when they face any crisis in married life. This, in turn, works as a boomerang. If you do the same thing, then let us tell you, dominating parents are not the right people to confide with when you need right suggestions. You must be intelligent enough to realize that they are totally concerned about you. So you cannot expect neutral advices from them.
Take your own decisions
Although in some cases parental advices are crucial, some decisions like where to go for honeymoon, when to have your baby, etc. are totally under your discretion. You parents might come up with different advices on these matters too, but you must stick to the decision taken jointly by both of you. In this process, never deny their opinion right away. But handle things wisely so that they are not offended and your purpose is also solved.
Avoid being too transparent about your married life
Parents hold a lot of importance in everybody’s life. But marriage is something that is equally important. We do not mean to say that post marriage the importance of your parents should be less in your life! On the contrary, it is just that the interference should be avoided. You can work a lot on this by avoiding being too transparent with them about your married life. Abstain from discussing things like your conjugal life, your partner’s temper, etc. All these might not be an issue at all for you, but your parents will develop a negative feeling for your spouse. This can affect your married life.
A “no” is helpful at times
There are times when you really need to put your step down. These are situations where you need to consider just about your married life and not your parents. Therefore, it becomes crucial to let them know that you are not going to take their opinion in certain cases. A ‘no’ becomes very important in such circumstances to save your marriage.
Avoid uncontrollable parents
Some parents are so nasty that they dig out issues out of nothing and continue poking you against your spouse. Believe us, no matter whatever you do or your spouse does, you will never be able to win their hearts. So, the wise thing to do in this regard is to avoid them. You should not stop communicating with them, but just decrease the frequency of meetings them. This will in turn work corrupting your mind less against your spouse.