You might have been through a seriously challenging marital relationship that had prompted you to call it quit. But have you ever thought about its effects on your kid? Divorce might be an effective panacea to end the turmoil in your life, but your kid might be at the receiving end of it all. To tell you the truth, children never favor broken families and they wish to grown up in a healthy environment. After the separation of their parents, kids start feeling low and depressed, which give rise to numerous problems. Let’s take a look at some of the most prominent ill effects of divorce on kids and how you can help them overcome it.
Feeling of loosing parental love
The first most prominent effect of divorce on kid is that that they feel frustrated and heartbroken. As there is a serious alteration in their parental structure, so they miss the consolidated love of both their parents at a time.
How to help children overcome it
You have a crucial role to play here. No matter what have been your personal marital complications, do not mingle it with parental responsibilities. Talk to your spouse and encourage co- parenting. This way, your kid will never feel separated from the love and affection of both father and mother.
Economic structure of the new family becomes a hurdle
Till date your kid had been living in a family with a particular type of economic structure. His/her life was designed according to that and his/her requirements were also different, based upon a particular type of economic structure. But single parenthood is sure to bring about a grave change. Now, his/her life requires a serious alteration.
How to help children overcome it
You can curb a major economic change and help your kid by talking to your spouse and ensuring that expenses on his/her bringing up remains scarcely altered.
They suffer from extreme stress
Divorce brings an all round alteration in the life of a kid too. The school changes, environment changes, residential address changes. In one word, ‘change’ is the most predominant name in his/her life too, together with that of yours. This makes him/her extremely stressed and he/she may grow frustrated. All this can focus towards mixing with bad peer group and taking up addictions to vent out frustrations.
How to help children overcome it
You need to help your child overcome this stress by having an open talk on all these and being his/her support when he/she seeks for it the most.
Kids feel lack of parental attention
You might be seriously heartbroken after a divorce. The effect of this will fall on your kid too, especially in the initial phases. You might have very little time for him/her since this phase will be characterized with your brooding and mental blockage.
How to help children overcome it
Although it is true that you will now have that zeal as you previously had, you have to give your child your time. Never let him/her feel alienated no matter how difficult your phase of separation had been. He/she must continue enjoying your presence.
Development of anger towards parents
Kids, who stand at the other side of your marital relationship, may hold you responsible for shattering his/her life. He/she may either find you both responsible for the act or hold you the villain of the piece. This will be reflected in the form of your kid’s irritated behavior, impudence and rudeness.
How to help children overcome it
Instead of scolding and abusing your child, try to delve within his/her heart and find out the reason behind the behavior. Be open to the child about the stress your marital relationship suffered from so that there is no option of misunderstanding on his/her part.
Destructive style in handling conflicts
Children of divorced couples have weakened capacities of handling problems and solving them. Your child had been through a phase in his/her childhood that has made him/her enter into conflict and strife while resolving crisis. Actually, he/she is not to be blamed for this as you have been doing the same with your spouse too. But, this will make his/her life problematic and affect his/her marital life.
How to help children overcome it
Help your child counter this problem by being communicative with him/her and redesigning his/her life in the process. Skillfully, teach the kid to counter such situations in a logical manner.
Diminished capacity of gelling up with peers
Kids, who grow in single families post the divorce of their parents, find it difficult to gel up with the peers. Actually they start considered themselves as unique ones, who do not have a traditional family life. Most often they are bullied and face questionable eyes of their peers, which make them ostracized.
How to help children overcome it
Help him/her by build up the confidence in your kid and let him/her understand that he/she is not a unique case. Instill courage in the kid and teach him/her to face the society boldly without shying away from it.
Difficulty in relating to the opposite sex
Kids, who are in their early teens and witness separation of their parents, find it difficult to identify with the opposite sex. For instance, a girl separated from her father and living with her mother might conclude that all men are menace. Similarly, a boy living with a similar condition might find all women as unfaithful and find it difficult to relate with the fairer sex. This affects their love life and marital life in turn too. Some of them may develop a vengeance towards the institution of marriage too.
How to help children overcome it
You need to break this notion by comforting and making the kid believe that all men and all women are not similar.His/her mind will change for sure with time.
Considering unaccepted and unlovable
Kids, who grow up in broken families, start considering that they are unaccepted and unlovable. They contemplate that as they have a stained childhood, so they are not socially acceptable. This either deters them from entering into a relationship in their own life or end up marrying a wrong person with the slightest hint of affection.
How to help children overcome it
Make your kid understand that he/she is not a subject of pity. Rather, making him/her firm to face the world boldly. Help the kid build up his/her personal credentials and make him/her realize that this is the factor that makes a mark.
Career of the kid gets a hard blow
Just as you, your child passes through the toughest time of his/her life too after you get separated from your spouse. This will be prevalent in his/her low performance in academics or extracurricular activities, which had been his/her natural talent so far. If you don’t look at it seriously, this bad phase in his/her life might never get over!
How to help children overcome it
Be his/her strongest and most reliable support. Let him/her feel that the kid is your sole reason of happiness now. So, his/her excellence in academics or extracurricular can bring glee back in your face. Your kid will soon overcome up his/her deteriorating form.